The Hidden Reason We Stay Addicted | Kevin Cornelius
Discover the reason we stay addicted with Kevin Cornelius, and learn TEAM-CBT techniques to take your first step toward recovery.
There seem to be many reasons why people fall into a depression. However, according to my beliefs, there is only one true reason why people get depressed. Depression happens, at some point, to everyone who doesn’t listen to their own heart calling.
Our heart is a magnificent mechanism. Not only is it a pump that keeps us alive, but it also keeps us assigned to who we truly are.
Your heart will never lie to you, the only problem, however, is that we all too often lie to it. Your heart calling is the reason why you exist. It defines your passions and your dreams.
More than often it happens that we don’t listen to this calling. When we sustain a lifestyle not meant for us, our heart will warn us about that, we will feel unhappy. We all know that kind of warning sign.
However, in most cases, we ignore it. And the reason for this is that we simply don’t understand it. Most people have no idea why they feel unhappy, they do know however that something is wrong, but can’t seem to figure out what, and go about searching for the problem completely wrong.
Maybe I need to earn more money? Maybe I need a girlfriend/boyfriend? Maybe I should get a new car? Maybe I need some new clothes? The truth of the matter is that gaining any one of those things isn’t the answer.
During those moments, your heart is trying to speak to you, it is trying to get your attention, telling you that you aren’t living the life that is meant for you, you aren’t pursuing your dreams, you aren’t fulfilling your own heart calling.
It speaks to you by making you feel unhappy. If you keep ignoring your heart screaming at you for years and years, then at some point, it will try something different, as your heart never gives up on your dreams.
It will take you into a deeper stage of unhappiness which we call depression.
“You'll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart.”
When our heart decides to put us in the state of deep unhappiness, it tries to make us remember something. It tries to make you remember what truly makes you happy in life, as this is bound to be your passion.
However, the same problem often arises in that we simply do not get what our heart is trying to do. All we feel is pain, and all we want is to get rid of it. We do not listen to our heart, what we do however is: we try to subdue its voice.
We reach out to alcohol, drugs, or anti-depressants. Anything that numbs the pain. What can happen is that we become addicted to this “temporary solution” of subduing our own heart’s call, we become addicted to the effect of not hearing our heart as we do not feel its pain anymore.
The result of becoming addicted to this “solution” is that you become less and less aware of who you truly are, you do not hear your own calling anymore, you start to forget the reason why you are alive.
If you become locked in that kind of statement, suicidal thoughts can take over your very being. Once we forget who we are, life has very little meaning. We do not know why we are here anymore and we start to doubt if we are even supposed to be here at all.
This is a very deep stage of depression, and yet it is so easy to fall into. Getting out of it, however, isn’t always as easy, as it is a process of different stages. For this reason, it is highly recommended to anyone to seek out a good professional therapist to help you along with this process.
The problem is however that many people don’t even dare to take this step. Why? It’s because of shame and fear of not being understood. For this reason, I personally recommend books as a first guiding step in the direction of personal healing.
There are two outstanding books, which will give you insights into yourself and about the world. They will give you a better understanding of your own heart and your own beliefs and dreams.
These two books, which I highly recommend are ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho and ‘The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom’ by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Do not wait, buy them! They don’t cost a lot, however, the value and insight they hold will change your life.
Working on yourself can be scary, overwhelming, confusing, messy, challenging, and lonely. On this podcast, hosted by Jellis Vaes, an aspiring clinical psychologist who once battled severe emotional struggles, you’ll gain valuable insights from experts in psychology, neuroscience, and relationships, as well as people like you and me, to support you on your mental health journey, help you feel less alone, and untangle some of the complexity of mental health.
For more support, visit Inner Path Seekers.
Show notes can be found here:https://theipsproject.com/2026/04/reason-we-stay-addicted-kevin-cornelius/
Addiction is complex, deeply human, and often misunderstood.
In this episode, we take a grounded and practical look at what addiction really is and how it can be treated effectively.
I’m joined by Kevin Cornelius, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical director at the Feeling Good Institute Silicon Valley.
Kevin specializes in TEAM-CBT, a powerful and evolving therapeutic approach developed by psychiatrist David Burns.
What I am hoping you get out of this episode, besides learning some of the reasons why people stay addicted, is that you will learn some practical techniques to start taking a small step toward freeing yourself from whichever addiction you might be struggling with.
If, after this episode, you’d like to learn more about the effects addiction has on the brain, do have a listen to the episode I did with Dr. Grisel, titled The Brain on Addiction.
📚The IPS Academy📚
If you feel that you’ve gained some insights and lessons from this video, and you are curious to see what else we offer at The IPS Project, check out The IPS Academy, where we offer online courses taught by guests here on the podcast.
Simply go to https://theipsproject.com/academy. Each course has a few lessons to try for free, so you get a taste of what the course is like. We have countless reviews from other students so you can see what others think, and there is a 30-day money-back guarantee if you end up not liking the course.
Again, check them out at https://theipsproject.com/academy
Discover the reason we stay addicted with Kevin Cornelius, and learn TEAM-CBT techniques to take your first step toward recovery.
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